Continuing With the Humor Theme.......

here are some prank calls that this comedian Roy Wood Jr. does. I put a few on here, but you can go to his website to hear more and learn more about him. I figured I'd put a few good humored posts, since I've had some more intense posts. As I said I have a good sense of humor, though I don't think it comes across that way on the posts I have put up here so far. These are funny though. Black folks I tell you!

Emmits Uncle

Barbara's Check


I found these on another website out of NYC called KTU. They have these phone pranks they call Balt Busters. Click here to see all the different ones they have on their site. The heterosexual one had me crackin' up when I heard it.

My Sons A Heterosexual!

Mommy's Toy

Do you think these are funny? Which was your favorite one? I think the funniest one to me is Barbara's Check, miss girl was a mess!

A Few Humorous Pictures

I got an email from a friend of mine with these pictures and I thought they were funny, so I decided to put them up here. Have a good laugh.

Sexual Safety Series- Entry #2

What's Mucosal Health Got To Do With It?

In my first post in this series I shared some safer sex tips to help prevent HIV transmission. In this post I will talk about how transmission happens, so that you can understand why certain things are more or less risky. One of the things that I didn't put in the 1st post, but should have, are the four body fluids HIV is found in, which are blood, semen, vaginal secretions and breast milk. For male, male sex, the main body fluid risk factors are blood and semen (cum).

Mucosal health refers to how healthy your mucous membranes are. You can think of the mucous membranes as the "pink parts" of your body, so that would be, the inside of your mouth, the lining of the anus, a man's urethra (the hole in the head of your penis) and a woman's vagina. All of these are likely points of entry for HIV via sex if the pink parts are compromised. So since having healthy mucosal membranes or "pink parts" help keep you HIV negative, it's imperative you make sure they're in tact prior to having sex.

HIV transmission occurs when there is damage to the pink parts. That damage triggers the body's immune system to send White Blood Cells to the area of inflammation or infection to fight off any foreign invaders (e.g.: bacteria, HIV, etc). These White Blood Cells are the very thing that HIV attaches itself to, which is how HIV infection occurs. So in other words, anything that causes inflammation or damage to your pink parts, will trigger White Blood Cells to help heal that inflammation. If the cells get to the site of inflammation and HIV is present, HIV infection occurs. If there is no HIV in the area where the White Blood Cells go, then HIV infection won't occur. So unprotected sex won't automatically put you at risk for HIV, but if there is HIV present in the body fluid the White Blood Cells come into contact with, then the likelihood of HIV transmission is very high.

What damages mucous membranes?
Mucous membranes can be damaged by many different things, but I'll talk about some of the most common ways.

In the mouth

1. Brushing teeth to the point where there's blood or you can feel some discomfort as a result of damaging the tissue.
2. Eating exrtemely spicy foods that cause some irritation to the tongue or inside of the mouth.
3. Recently having dental work done which almost always will cause some irritation to the gums. You might want to wait a day or two before engaging in unprotected oral sex until you feel that your gums are back in good shape.
4. Using mouthwash with a high alcohol or acidic content. That burning you feel when you use Listerine (or any other strong mouthwash) is the very thing that breaks down your mucous membranes and could put you at risk for HIV.
5. Any other activity that causes damage to the lining of the cheek (such as biting on it), gums (such as gingevitis) or tongue (such as biting it or a recent tongue piercing), among other things.

In the anus/vagina

1. Douching, because whatever chemical you use to clean out the anus can cause damage to the lining. That chemical could also dry the lining making it susceptible to tearing more easily during sex or it could cause inflammation, which will bring White Blood Cells to the area, which would lead to increased susceptibility for HIV infection.
2. Make sure you don't have an undiagnosed Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD), because having an STD directly breaks down the mucosal lining and puts you at increased risk for HIV. This is why it's important to not only test for HIV, but also STD's. I have been told by nurses that 2/3 of all STD's don't show any observable symptoms, so testing for them may be the only way you know you have one.
3. Rough sex could damage the lining of the anus as well. If you have rough sex or notice, blood coming from your anus after sex, then you may want to wait at minimum a day to a few days before engaging in any unprotected anal sex with a casual sex partner or someone who you're unsure of their HIV status. Protected sex of course is safer, but there is always the slight risk of the condom busting during orgasm.
4. Having hemorrhoids obviously causes damage to the anal lining and often times blood will be present if there is an active hemorrhoid. It may sound like common sense, but I'll say it anyway, if you have hemorrhoids, don't have insertive anal sex!

The Urethra

1. The primary risk here will be with STD's that get inside the urethra. An ideal situation for HIV transmission would be, having an STD that effects your urethra, and sticking your non-condomed dick inside someone who has a hemorrhoid, or blood present for whatever reason. Again that is why STD testing is important as well as using a condom. You can't see what's going on inside someones ass, so don't take that risk if you don't know for sure their HIV/STD status or your status for that matter.
2. As I stated in my previous post, for men who are uncut, it's important to make sure that you keep your foreskin clean, because if contaminated bacteria gets trapped in there, and if that bacteria gets into your urethra, you can contract HIV or an STD.

These are some of the common ways the pink parts can become compromised, which you should avoid so that you can stay healthy. For example in my previous post, one of the HIV risk reduction behaviors I listed was to avoid letting someone cum in your mouth. This is because cum is one of the four body fluids that HIV is found in. If there is any kind of damage to the pink parts in your mouth then there's a strong likelihood that White Blood Cells are present. If there's HIV in the cum, then that makes the ideal environment for HIV infection to occur.

The main point of this post was to share the importance of mucosal health. If you keep your pink parts healthy then you can greatly decrease your risk of HIV transmission. If anyone has additional questions you can email me or leave a comment and I'll answer it the best I can on here. If I don't know the answer, then I'll find out or direct you to a resource that can help.

I'm not suggesting in this post that if you do these behaviors you will be completely safe from HIV. These are merely things you can do to help decrease your risk. The only ways to truly prevent yourself from contracting HIV is to be sexually abstinant or to have a sexual partner where you are both sexually monogamous with each other and are both HIV-negative.

Get Your MLK Day On!!!

Monday January 16th is the observance of Martin Luther King Day and a time that many of us reflect on the Civil Rights movement and how far we have come in the United States regarding race relations. The overt tactics of racism and discrimination may not be as pervasive as they were in King's time, but covert racism and discrimination continue to be present and pervasive. Martin Luther King, Jr. did a great deal for the advancement of Black's in this country and I'm honored to be a descendant of his legacy.

I often wonder what the state of Black folks would be if MLK, Jr and Malcolm X were still alive and in the struggle. I don't think we've had strong Black leaders since them and it seems the Black community has become increasingly more divisive and hyper-critical of the few leaders that do try to pull the community together. Long gone are the days of true, impactful, well attended, well organized political movements in America. I sometimes wish that I were part of those progressive movements like Malcolm X's and King's. The energy must have been crazy back then, because people fought for change like their lives depended on it and indeed their lives did.

What do people think of the state of Blacks in America and Black leadership in America?

Sexual Safety Series- Entry#1

The Benefits of Sexual Harm Reduction

There has been much focus in the current Bush administration on pushing abstinence as the "golden standard" to follow and the promotion of no sex until marriage. What world is the Bush Administration living in? Since gay men and lesbians can't get legally married in this Country, do they think we should never have sex? A crazy thought, but one I'm sure conservatives believe should be the case. I was a late bloomer not having sex for the first time until I was 18 years old, but thank goodness I had a good head on my shoulders and learned about HIV early in my sexual experience. Since most of us don't see abstinence as an option and others of us aren't in committed, sexually monogamous relationships, we have to navigate sex with the ever present thought of HIV in the back of our minds. But there are ways we can help protect ourselves against HIV and still have a healthy sex life.

Have you ever tried to change a behavior that you knew put you at risk for adverse consequences, but you still did it anyway? Maybe you tried to do that behavior a little less, so you didn't feel so bad about doing it. I know I have and I'm sure that everyone else has at some point in their lives as well. This exhibits the concept of harm reduction, which is continuing to do a behavior that may be detrimental to your health, but moderating it so that the negative effects won't be so bad. Apply this concept to sexual behavior and you have sexual harm reduction practices.

Here are a few examples of Sexual Harm Reduction that people can put into practice if your not doing so already:

1. Get tested for HIV AND STD's every 3 to 6 months. If you are sexually active with more than 2-3 partners a month on average, then you should get tested for HIV AND STD's every 3 or 4 months.
2. Before having sex with a casual sex partner look for any sores or bumps in the genital area. Even if it's a quickie in the park or a back room, simply use the light from your cell phone or a small keychain flashlight to check things out before you go to town. Sometimes there's a reason why he wants to have sex in the dark!
3. When giving head, try not to let him ejaculate in your mouth as ejaculation increases your risk of HIV transmission. If he does cum in your mouth, spit it out ASAP and rinse your mouth out with water or a mild mouth wash to flush the mouth out.
4. If you give head to casual sex partners regularly try to be aware of any abrasions or inflammation of your tongue or gums. If there's any bleeding definitely reconsider giving head. It's not advisable to brush your teeth prior to giving head, as brushing teeth usually causes at least some minor irritation to the gums.
5. If your planning on bottoming, whether you plan on it being with a condom or not, don't douche before hand. I know people don't want to "paint" or whatever terminology you use, but douching can damage the lining of the anus and make an entry point for HIV if you come into contact with it. If you really feel the need to clean the anus out before anal sex, then try to do so several hours before the encounter and/or use a mild cleaner such as water or a glycerin suppository . Don't use anything acidic such as a vinegar based product.
6. If you bottom, and the top ejaculates inside of you, try to eliminate as soon as possible to flush any germ out. Don't douche after sex as there is likely some tearing or inflammation of the anal lining, which could become worse by douching. Simply try to eliminate after the encounter.
7. If you engage in sex while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, try to cut back. For example if you have sex an average of 6 times a week and 5 of those times you're under the influence, then try to work towards being under the influence 4 out of 6 times and then 3 times etc. If you can't cut back all at once, try to do so in increments, this is what harm reduction is about.
8. If you're uncut, make sure that you keep the foreskin clean and dry. To keep it dry it's recommended that you use corn starch. If you don't keep the foreskin clean and dry, bacteria will build up and could get trapped in the foreskin. If some of the bacteria in there are HIV/STD germs, you could be trapping them in there and providing an opportunity for the germ to enter your urethra (your pee hole) and infect you, not to mention it will smell and who wants that!?
9. Get screened for Hepatitis A & B because they are prevalent in some cities among Men who have Sex with Men (MSM). If you are negative for one or both of these diseases, then get vaccinated for them. Vaccination will protect you from contracting them if you come into contact with them. Vaccinations for Hepatitis A & B can often be obtained free of charge at public health clinics. If you have insurance, your carrier should cover the cost.
10. If you're dating someone and considering having unprotected anal sex and the two of you are sexually monogamous, try to wait at least three months to avoid the primary stages of HIV infection. An HIV antibody test can detect HIV within a three month period after infection. After the three month period of sexual monogamy, go together to get tested for HIV AND STD's. If your not sure your partner has been sexually monogamous, then reconsider having unprotected anal sex. The alternative is to have protected anal sex.

These are 10 tips to help reduce your risk of HIV infection. Are there others people practice that you want to share? This is by no means a complete list.

If there's a main point I want to leave you with, it's that harm reduction is a means to an end, meaning that the ultimate goal is to eliminate as much risk for HIV and STD transmission as possible and still enjoy sex. Another point I want to make is that sometimes we need to expand our sexual toybox and not view sex as primarily anal penetration. There are lots of things other than anal penetration you can do and are less risky, but still enjoyable. Until the next post play safe and try something new and adventurous and safe!

I'm not suggesting in this post that if you do these behaviors you will be completely safe from HIV. These are merely things you can do to help decrease your risk. The only ways to truly prevent yourself from contracting HIV is to be sexually abstinant or to have a sexual partner where you are both sexually monogamous with each other and are both HIV-negative.

New Series Coming to Lee's Space

I was suddenly inspired to write about sexual safety as it relates to HIV/STD prevention for gay men, after engaging in a discussion on a GLBT People of Color listserve recently. The series will simply be called "Sexual Safety Series". I also plan to talk about some specific issues as they relate to Black gay men and sexual risk. I've been doing HIV work for over 5 years now and have acquired quite a bit of knowledge along the way. One of the things I have seen via my experience of working as an HIV prevention educator as well as being a facilitator for Many Men, Many Voices that men sometimes don't realize how some of the behaviors they do or don't engage in, may be putting them at risk for HIV and STD's. There are lots of things to cover under the umbrella of sexual safety, so I decided I would break them up into a series of posts, so they weren't too long and more manageable to read. This series will include substance use behaviors, secondary prevention, and the relationship to HIV and STD's among other things. I will also provide links to other reputable sources where you can get more information if you'd like. So check in with me every few days or so as I am going to try to post at least every other day or so.

My 2006 Agenda

Well 2006 is here and I have not made any real New Years resolutions, but I do have goals and aspirations for 2006. Initially I was planning to recap my 2005, but at this point, I think I will talk more about my future than recap the past. A few notable things about 2005 for me were:

• Meeting my partner
• Being part of a successful research project that will add to HIV prevention programming for Black Men who have Sex with Men.
• Landing a part time job doing mental health counseling, because I had been missing my direct service experience doing research.
• The incredible experience I've had being a facilitator for Many Men, Many Voices. I've enjoyed meeting all kinds of different and inspiring people who have attended the retreats and its been an invaluable experience. (For all you New Yorker's and N. Jersey boyz, you need to get with People Of Color in Crisis and get to one of the retreats!)
• I've been involved with an action group here in Philly, that's looking to improve the overall health and well being of Black gay men. This is an issue that's important to me, and though we've been on a little hiatus, I'm hoping that 2006 will be a progressive year for this planning body.
• Last, but not least, I started Blogging! That has truly been one of the highlights, because I've been wanting to write for over a year now and I find this to be the perfect way to share my thoughts with a worldwide audience. It's also therapeutic. Keep supportin' a brutha in the '06.

In the mix for 2006:

• One of the things I'd really like to do this year is teach a college level class. I have put in resume's with Temple University's Social Work program and with the Community College of Philadelphia, so I hope to hear something. Temple actually got back to me and said they might be looking for adjunct professors for the Spring semester. I'd love to teach a HIV related course, social work or a human sexuality class.
• I want to continue writing and build the readership of my Blog. People have told me they find some of the stuff I write to be interesting and helpful, so I plan to continue writing about current events and adding to the richness of the blog community. I feel I've had a little bit of writer's block for the beginning of the year, but I hope to get over it soon.
• I also want to make my Blog look more visually appealing and less like the template it is. I'm a little jealous of the new look of Clay Canes Blog and other's that I've visited. I'm trying to teach myself a little HTML so I can make this happen.
• Decorate my apartment better. I have been in this place for over 8 months now and still have boxes (LOL). So I definitely need to get with decorating and making my place look a little more lived in. The problem is, I really don't get into decorating, so it's a challenge.
• I hope to catch some good concerts this year. I would LOVE to see Lisa Stansfield, though it doesn't seem that she ever tours in the US. Others I would like to see in concert are: Jill Scott (Again, 'cuz she's amazing), Jaguar Wright, The Roots (just missed them in Atlantic City a couple of week ago), Mary J Blige & India (the house music singer with the beautiful voice). I know there are more, but those are who I can think of off the top of my head.
• I also want to build my circle of friends here in Philly. I have plenty of associates, but not many close friends, which is something important to me.

I look forward to what 2006 has to offer me. I'm the type to go for what I want and I have been lucky enough to get most of those things. I live my life virtuously and put good energy out, which is why I think I've been blessed with such good Karma in life so far. So be sure to stay with me in 2006, I'll make it worth your while. And please continue to give me feedback on what I write, it helps keep me going and evolve as a writer.

Lee

Good Times

The past week has been fun and it was topped off by a visit from one of my dear friends Garrod who came to visit me from Albany, NY. Me and Garrod have been friends for 11 years, which I hadn't realized it has been that long until we were talking about it. I knew him when he was just a teenager trying to get through his highschool years and he's all growed up now :-) I'm proud of how well he's doing for himself in spite of some of his life adversities over the past couple of years. He's one of the sweetest and most genuine people that I know, which is how we've managed to stay friends all these years. I've been here in Philadelphia for a year and 3 months and he is the first person to come and visit me. Several friends have said they plan to come, but none have until now, and I had a great time bar hopping last night and then showing him around Philadelphia today. We reminisced on the fun and good times we've had over the years, which I know my partner felt left out at times, so thank you for bearing with us baby. Here are a few pics from the night:

Me & Garrod @ Woody's

Me, Georgeo & Garrod @ Cosi

Us @ Bump (yeah I know I seem to always hang out there)

The Handsome Couple

So a good time was had by all and I realized how much I miss Garrod. He's looking to move at some point in the future and has his eye on Philly as a possibility, so you know I was trying to sell it to him.

Last weekend was New Years weekend so me, Georgeo and friends decided to do it up for the weekend. We went out to a couple of bars last Friday night and had a jolly old time. I didn't take any pictures on New Year's Eve, but I do have a picture from the night we all hung out at Key West (a Black gay bar in Philly, not the city- I wish though!) Here are a few pics from Key West:

L to R: Me, Georgeo, Chris, Vince & Freddie

Me, Georgeo @ Ervin

Vexed about.........In The Last 2 Weeks of 2005

Happy New Year to all and I look forward to what the new year has in store for me and the entire blog community. But before I move into to 2006 I have some bones to pick with a few small events that took place in the last couple of weeks of 2005:

iPod Drama

So, me being the music lover that I am, was really looking forward to getting an iPod for Christmas. My partner told me he'd get me the new one that plays video and stores pics in addition to music, so I was too hype about the prospect of getting it. Well I call myself trying to find a good deal so that my man wouldn't have to pay $300+ for it (so maybe I could get a few other things too :-)) So I found a good deal on this corny assed website ( I didn't know how corny at the time unfortunately). So he orders it for me and we wait, and wait, and wait and they still hadn't sent it, meanwhile he's been charged for it. So it's a week before Christmas and I call and they say, "we've got some in and we'll be sending it out soon, so you should have it before Christmas". Well I can't just sit with that, I wanted to know exactly when they were going to send it out and exactly when it should be getting to me etc. So I called them 4 days before Christmas and they say, "it's been mailed and is on its way, but we can't give you a tracking number yet because that's done manually in a different department". So I'm truly hyped now, 'cuz they told me it was going to be there the Friday before Christmas. So me still pushing, called back the next day to get the tracking number so I could get the exact delivery date, 'cuz I didn't want it chillin on the front step for hours until someone came home to get it, in the meanwhile someone sees it and grabs it and ends up with my iPod! Oh hell to the naw, so I called them again to get the tracking number. The customer service rep tells me "we just got a notice today that we didn't get the iPod's in as expected and won't be able to fill the order before Christmas". What! I hit the roof and went off on her about how I was told it was on its way and I should have it before Christmas etc. I had my partner call that day and get his money back, 'cuz they're a crooked azzed establishment and I didn't appreciate being lied to. Luckily I was able to find an iPod locally and got it before Christmas and was quite happy until I found out how crooked Apple is..............

My beef with Apple

Let me start by saying that though I have this beef, overall I am hooked on the iPod. I'm just a little pissed off about how they get you coming and going spending money on things that should come with it for the price you pay................such as a charger! When I went to the store and got the iPod (the Black one, 'cuz it looks so hot!), I was surprised at how small the box was. I was like dayum, that's what I’m paying $300 for? So I get it back to my office at work, because I was like a little kid and had to check things out immediately, to find that the only way I can charge it is if I plug it into a computer. If I want an outlet charger, I have to pay an extra $40. What?! When the iPod first came out the dayum thing came with a wall charger and you could charge it on the computer as well while you were downloading songs. We are all victims of the profit driven world of today whose motto is.......give less and make the consumer pay more! So then my partner goes to buy me a wall plug, but when I open the box, it's not a wall plug, but a damn docking station that still needs to be connected to the computer to charge. The docking station didn't even come with any of its own cords!! What kind of bullshit is that? I have to use the cords that came with the iPod in order to use the dock. The only thing this particular dock does is allow you to hook the iPod up to the TV or to your home stereo system. So I was vexed because my partner asked for a wall charger and thought that's what he was getting, so that was another $40 on that! I'm heated that they have made the item more expensive and give you less accessories. Yeah I know it has a color display and the design is a little sleeker and it's an awesome system, but they screw you over.

The Flavor of Love

So I'm mad that I am into this show! (LOL) I think that Flavor Flave is one of the ugliest people I’ve ever seen, so ugly that he does a 180 and becomes almost cute in an odd way! (Well maybe it's more like a 250, because he's still more ugly than oddly cute). I was watching his new VH1 reality show, where 20 women are competing for his love and I was a bit intrigued. I watched the whole hour of the first episode and want to watch more. I have always found him to be a bit too buffoonish, especially being in a group like public enemy where they were about trying to raise the consciousness of the young Black hip hop community of the 80's and early 90's. His character didn't seem to fit what the group was supposed to represent.

Well do ya'll remember how he used to wear those big assed clocks around his neck? Well almost 20 years later and he's no different. He's still wearing oversized clocks and acting like a buffoon. He objectifies the women, touchin' all on their ass and breasts and they are loving it, all for a little piece of fame. As if any of those women would look twice at Flave if it wasn't for him having this reality TV show. But for some odd reason I still like the show and will probably watch it next week. Has anyone else seen it? Thoughts?

XXL Magazines The Shook One's 2005

I was vexed watching this show because there were a few things said on this show that pissed me off. The show aired a few times last week on MTV Jams on digital cable. They had about 5 or 6 people from the rap industry involved in a roundtable discussion on different events in hip hop in 2005. They talked about Karrin "Superhead" Stephens and how she blew up the male rap industry by disclosing several of her sexual affairs with rap artists; Mary J. Blige blasting Vibe for her unhappiness with her most recent magazine cover; 'Lil Kims trial and conviction and how rappers responded to the Hurricane Katrina disaster among other things.

The part that got me going was when they talked about Kanye West's accusations about homophobia in hip hop. All of the commentators on the show were male; except for Remy Ma (what the hell has she done lately?). The men included David Banner, Jim Jones and a couple of other people who's names I can't remember. Well when the host bought up Kanye's statements about homophobia in hip hop for the panelists to discuss, the Black male bravado came out and they (mostly David Banner and Jim Jones) refused to even talk about the topic. In a nutshell they feel there are more important issues to deal with in hip hop and how it relates to urban Black communities than to waste their breath on discussing homophobia in hip hop. Jim Jones even said that he doesn't even listen to Kanye's music because there is too much struggling going on in the urban Black ghettos that aren't reflected in Kanye's music (but apparently is reflected in his, I wouldn't know since I don't know one song by him). It's sooooooooo tired that rappers still want to talk about glorifying street life, violence and drug dealing, all while objectifying Black women in their videos and lyrics. At least Kanye talks on larger social and political issues and put his neck on the line at least once to make a statement, which could have cost him his endorsement wtih Pepsi (None of the rappers at this roundtable have this kind of major endorsement).

I think some hip hop heads are tired of listening to violent music, especially since they see this every day reflected on the news, in their neighborhoods and some are coming to the realization that enough is enough. This has become a staple of East and West coast rap music, which is why the South was represented so strongly in album sales in 2005. They talk about partying among other things and in general don't promote violence in their music, though it's still heavily misogynistic, instead of the violent, corrupt lyrics of many East and West coast rappers. For these two cowards to refuse to even talk about homophobia in rap music shows their ignorance and lack of ability to look outside of their short sited lyrics that objectify women, promote drug use, selling and violence and overall exhibit a lack of respect for the Black community, especially women. I don't think Jim Jones or David Banner could hold an intellectual conversation about the state of the Black community and what we need to do to advance as a people; this includes those Blacks that don't live in urban ghettos, but still have to deal with the impact of racism and prejudice among other social plagues.

Ignant asses like them is why I don't really get into rap anymore. The consciousness raising of 80's rap with groups like X-Clan, Public Enemy and KRS1 are long gone and just about dead. Destructive, homophobic and misogynist lyrics have taken over and all those that promote these kind of lyrics, including Jim Jones and David Banner need to wake up and realize that we are all interconnected: gay and straight; masculine and feminine; Black and White and when we begin to think that one is better than the other, then we become part of the problems that keep this country in a state of social, economic and political regression.